This is My Story

This morning was a great start. I started my quiet time with my Lord to the old hymn, Blessed Assurance. He is mine and I am his. I read 1 Timothy 1:12-17 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves to full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, and only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

This is my story. I was raised hearing that Jesus loved me, however I did not know the gospel and how he loved me. Anyone one who knew my past would be quite surprised that I absolutely fall into the hands of my Savior. I made choices that I truly look back with embarrassment. I was in control, I thought. I showed up on the doorsteps of a church physically obvious that I needed God. I was 17 and a junior in high school. Pregnant. We looked at several churches before settling in on one. And every time I got out of the car and it was a humbling experience. I knew that God was real and I certainly didn't want his church to see how much of a sinner I was. We finally settled into a church that welcomed me with open arms. I wish I could say I changed my ways. I didn't. I continued to live a life of sin and rebellion. I ran with a very rough crowd.It was only by God's protection that I didn't get killed. I certainly didn't deserve his protection. Once I had Derek, I decided to have him dedicated. I made a promise to God that he would be raised in the christian faith. And that was a promise I kept. No matter how bad I got, he rarely missed church. When I not there, my mother faithfully took him with her. For that I am forever thankful. He is truly being used by God in major ways.

Eventually God's love made it to my heart. I repented. To repent is to turn away from my old self. I was tired of living a life of sin. I was tired of going nowhere. Somewhere in the mist of my crazy world, I got an education. I became a dental assistant and provided for me and Derek. I felt like I was the worst of sinners. I almost wrote in this testimony that I wasn't the worst of sinners because I didn't murder or steal or something we all consider worse than ourselves. However, God is very personal and every sinner is the worst of sinners. Sin is sin. Paul watched Stephen being stoned to death because of his faith and Paul gave his approval of his death. Even destroyed the church after his death. I fell at his feet and begged him to show me mercy. I accepted his gift of salvation. I have full assurance that I am his and will see him in heaven.

I am still a sinner. I have, many many times, looked down at those whom live the way I did. I pray constantly for forgiveness and mercy for not giving mercy and grace as my Father did. I have those I still struggle with.As I judge others I am truly judging myself. Talk about putting my foot in my mouth. It doesn't taste good. He is patient with me just as he is patient with all of his children. I believe he gives this gift to us, he bought us with the price of the death and Resurrection of his very own Son. He doesn't require action on our part to receive this gift. It is already ours. We choose to walk away from this gift. Our faithfulness to him produces fruit. We can't earn his love. Obedience and living for Christ comes from out love for him. My willingness to serve is not out of obligation, I did not sign a contract, I serve out of love because he first loved me. I have a true relationship with God AND I understand he is just and deserves respect and authority. He is the ultimate authority and is the judge of who enters his kingdom. I fall down daily and he picks me up. He offers his sacraments to me as a reminder of what he has done for me. He came to this earth as a man, he was without sin, he died for my sins, rose from the dead, and lives and reigns in heaven.

I look back at my old self and shutter. I have moments of guilt and shame yet he reminds me of his forgiveness and love. He has blessed me with a husband who leads our family based on his love and dedication our Lord. My children our raised, taught, and lead by our example and the teachings of Christ. I truly believe in going to church every Sunday. We find love, fellowship, and participation in his gifts he daily showers on us. I hope I can use my story to make an empact on those around me and my children. I am dedicated to being the best wife, mother, friend, and church member I can through Him.

Thank you for listening to my story- God's story.

My story is not over till I die and live with him.